Lone Survivors

Text and research by Fazeela Hanif, Maham Hassan, Taimur Nadeem & Eesha Ali Graphics by Mahnoor Nazar Life post-divorce: Going separate ways from her spouse not only drains a woman emotionally, but also poses economic challenges

“At the time of divorce, I had no assets or money with me,” says Errum, a 50-year-old mother of four who had to reconstruct her life entirely when she got separated from her husband after a traumatic divorce.

Women in a patriarchal society are always hit hardest financially when a divorce takes place in a male-dominated society. Often, women give up their careers to build a family, and after a divorce, they find it challenging to get back to their careers. According to data released by the Pakistan Bureau of Statistics, the employment-to-population ratio of women is 21% compared to that of men, which is 77% in Pakistan. Lower employment rate of women in the country leads to their financial vulnerability after divorce.

In Pakistan, the trend of divorce is increasing due to various reasons that are often subjects of animated debates. But what remains undoubted is that single women face multiple challenges after separating from the husband. “I don’t know how I survived that time; it didn’t matter to me at that time how much money I had, what assets I had, and how much jewellery, and all my dowry, I had left behind,” adds Errum.

A woman is left with no cash, and she frequently surrenders her Haq-Mehr (dower) to get a divorce or Khula, and live peacefully. Errum’s ex-husband signed the Khula papers only when her father told him that they didn’t want their dowry, money, or anything else back.

Errum did not give up on life but instead started looking for a job, and now she is a grade-18 professor.

“Women should always be strong, never give up, be financially independent, and above all, they should get a good education to secure their future,” she shares.

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Sara—a 32-year-old divorce survivor—was often given suggestions to adjust with her husband, no matter what, because of financial dependence on him. But she was determined to get out of her abusive marriage and make a life for herself on her own. “My family never supported me financially after the divorce, but my educational background was very strong, due to which I am well settled now and living a lifestyle which I always wished for,” says Sara.

“Parents should provide good education to their daughters so that they can be financially independent and walk out of abusive marriages without any financial hurdles,” she advices.

According to advocate Akbar Sohail Sheikh, “From 2014 onwards, there has been an increase of approximately 1500–2000 divorces every year in Pakistan”. He shares that the women’s mentality has changed over the past few years as they have started to become strong individually and speak out against what is not right.

One of the most significant challenges women face is finding the right lawyer who can help them get possession of assets and financial assistance from the ex-husband. Women in such a predicament turn to lawyers to help them get justice. However, these women need money to hire a good lawyer. But many of them are unable to afford good lawyers.

“I belong to a lower-middle-class family, and getting a divorce was the most difficult decision of my life because I had no money to afford a lawyer,” says a 30-year-old divorced survivor. “I have lost my two children to him”.

Advocate Akbar informs that a good divorce lawyer would charge anywhere between 2–5 lacs from their clients. “You can find a lawyer for less money than that too, but if you want the best of the best, they have a higher fee,” he says.

Advocate Kiran Marwat echoes his view, and adds that it is all subjective and depends on the court discussion. At the end of the day, the best lawyer wins the case.

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Abandoned by the father

Not only women, but children living with a single mother are also affected financially when their parents are separated, and the father abandons them. Children are also wrapped in the flames ignited due to divorce, which leaves them in a difficult situation. They have to give up on many things, such as quality education, extracurriculars, and luxurious lifestyles. The burden falls on the mother to take care of the children and fulfil their basic needs if the father is not willing to support them.

“I had to sacrifice many things at first when my mom had no job, and I had to switch from O' levels to the metric system and give up my cricket training because my mom couldn't afford it,” says Shafay, a 16-year-old boy who lives with his mother after his parents' divorce.

“Sometimes, I don’t even express to my mom which toy or fancy stationery I like and want,” he says, adding that he gets Rs5000 monthly from his mother “which is not enough for me”.

According to a report “Problems Faced by Divorced Women while Educating their Children in Malakand, Khyber Pakhtunkhwa”, divorced women are confronted with many socio-economic problems while educating their children, such as lack of aspiration, lack of economic support, transportation problems, frequent residential moves, and lack of adjustments.

Light at the end of the tunnel

Women have the option of getting help from human rights activists when they are unable to afford the attorney fee. “I have handled 150 divorce cases, in which roughly 30–35 women were not asked for a fee because they were referred to me by some human rights activists,” says Razi Haider, a family lawyer.

It is never too late to learn a new skill and start making a living out of it. “Mostly nine out of 10 women who come to Ra'ana Liaquat Craftsmen’s Colony (RLCC)—to learn some skills so that they can cater to the needs of their children—are divorced,” shares Fabiha, coordinator at RLCC. RLCC program aims to provide skills to local women that can enhance their capability to seek jobs in the market.

Many women also make a living from cooking and selling home-made food. The two divorce survivors inform that after divorce, they began selling home-made lunches because of which they were able to support themselves and their children financially.

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Change awaits

In Pakistan, the Muslim Family Laws Ordinance 1961, the Family Courts Act 1964, and the Dissolution of Muslim Marriages Act 1939 deal with divorce and maintenance following separation and divorce. However, none of the laws guarantee financial protection to women. The financial support that a woman will get depends upon the judge’s decision in the court, and it can be either way.

A study by the University of Punjab points out the importance of making educational programs available for lower-income and lesser-educated, single working women. It also suggests that government and other competent authorities must play a role to help female divorcees for their survival—such as to provide financial aids, free medical facilities, healthy food, and shelter.

“There should be laws made such as a fixed quota in government organizations for divorce survivors so that they can start a life on their own and bring food to the table,” suggests Sara. “The girls should always remain financially independent whether they choose to get married or not”.